A Famous Man once wrote: “To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible.”

A couple of years ago, I made a “mistake”.  By the time I realized that I’d made that “mistake”, it was too late.

I was weak and had no faith in myself.  I was not thinking with my right mind.  Instead, I allowed myself to be persuaded by a lonely heart.

It was a strange time.  A period of cryptic phone messages and secret meetings.  The time on the clock passed slowly, yet the days on the calendar moved quickly.  When I realized exactly how many months had been torn off of the calendar, more than a year had gone by.

It was more than a year of pretending to be happy, smiling, and laughing.  When all the while, I was actually sad, cold,  and empty.  I was resting inside of a thin shell.

Yes, I had a conscience, but I resolved my feelings by telling myself that “I was not ‘The One’ at fault.”  I constantly reminded myself that I was an individual who was free to live my life as I pleased.

Whenever I felt a twinge of guilt, I was hypnotised by lavish promises of changed behavior and assurances of improved circumstance.  Nothing ever changed.  It all remained the same.

I awakened one day and realized that I was being foolish.  I had nothing to show for my “mistake”.  I was alone in more ways than one.  I had shunned my friends…  I did THAT because I didn’t want them to know anything about my reticent whereabouts or my shameful behavior.  Yes, SHAMEFUL.

I put a halt to the cryptic phone messages and no longer allowed myself to be available for the secret meetings.  I found new strength in a place where previously I had only felt weakness.  I allowed myself to see my “mistake” in all its glory.

Recently, my “mistake” has come to light again.  I have disregarded its signals for the sake of allowing bygones to be bygones.  My phone rings.  My email holds coded messages.  I ignore them.

Last week, I picked up the phone and began dialing the number. Halfway through dialing, I realized that I was being sucked toward the Vortex.  It was nothing more than ploy.  I hung up without completing the call.

I know now that the messages that I’ve received have NOTHING to do with Me.  Nothing.  Those messages are merely an ego boost for the Caller.   I am taking the high road.

“I can not meet you.”

It is over.

No explanation is necessary.