No Explanation is Necessary.

mistake

A Famous Man once wrote: “To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible.”

A couple of years ago, I made a “mistake”.  By the time I realized that I’d made that “mistake”, it was too late.

I was weak and had no faith in myself.  I was not thinking with my right mind.  Instead, I allowed myself to be persuaded by a lonely heart.

It was a strange time.  A period of cryptic phone messages and secret meetings.  The time on the clock passed slowly, yet the days on the calendar moved quickly.  When I realized exactly how many months had been torn off of the calendar, more than a year had gone by.

It was more than a year of pretending to be happy, smiling, and laughing.  When all the while, I was actually sad, cold,  and empty.  I was resting inside of a thin shell.

Yes, I had a conscience, but I resolved my feelings by telling myself that “I was not ‘The One’ at fault.”  I constantly reminded myself that I was an individual who was free to live my life as I pleased.

Whenever I felt a twinge of guilt, I was hypnotised by lavish promises of changed behavior and assurances of improved circumstance.  Nothing ever changed.  It all remained the same.

I awakened one day and realized that I was being foolish.  I had nothing to show for my “mistake”.  I was alone in more ways than one.  I had shunned my friends…  I did THAT because I didn’t want them to know anything about my reticent whereabouts or my shameful behavior.  Yes, SHAMEFUL.

I put a halt to the cryptic phone messages and no longer allowed myself to be available for the secret meetings.  I found new strength in a place where previously I had only felt weakness.  I allowed myself to see my “mistake” in all its glory.

Recently, my “mistake” has come to light again.  I have disregarded its signals for the sake of allowing bygones to be bygones.  My phone rings.  My email holds coded messages.  I ignore them.

Last week, I picked up the phone and began dialing the number. Halfway through dialing, I realized that I was being sucked toward the Vortex.  It was nothing more than ploy.  I hung up without completing the call.

I know now that the messages that I’ve received have NOTHING to do with Me.  Nothing.  Those messages are merely an ego boost for the Caller.   I am taking the high road.

“I can not meet you.”

It is over.

No explanation is necessary.

When was the last time you saw your car keys?

car keys

I used to have two cars.
Both cars, I owned – free and clear.
One of my cars was a really “Nice” later model car that I drove almost all the time – rain or shine.

It had a lot of accessories, special features, and bells and whistles that I liked.
Actually, I really LOVED ALL the extra stuff that I’d added to my Nice car!
I special ordered that car and I liked to show it off to all my friends.
I had a special vanity plate on the back and a cute little sticker on the back bumper that set my car apart from all the others.
I always kept the gas tank full of premium gas.

Usually, when I drove my Nice car, I kept the convertible top down and played the music really loud so that everybody noticed me, heard me coming, and saw me driving.
Parking was a no-brainer…
I always used the valet service to park it and I always allowed the valet person put it right out in front of the building so EVERYBODY could see it.
I loved to watch other people’s faces as they admired how nice a car I actually owned.
I LOVED that car!

I kept my other car parked in my Garage.
My other car really was not a “Rust Bucket” – it was actually a pretty cool little car – but for the sake of THIS story, that’s what I’ll call it – “Rust Bucket”

Sometimes, I parked it in my driveway to allow the sun to shine on it.
Sometimes, I kept it wrapped in a cloth car cover to keep the dust off of it.
But usually, I just kept my Rust Bucket in my Garage.
It really was nothing special.
It didn’t have a lot of accessories, special features, or bells and whistles.
I didn’t special order it.
Actually, I really can’t even remember exactly how I acquired it.
It didn’t have a vanity plate or special bumper stickers to identify it as mine.
It didn’t have a special paint job or any special features of which I was aware.

I only kept the most minimum maintenance on it.
I rarely gave it a full tank of gas – usually I maintained only ¼ tank…
Sometimes, I didn’t wash it for months.
I don’t think I ever waxed it.
I didn’t change the oil very often and regular tune-ups non-existent.
I only drove the Rust Bucket occasionally.
Sometimes, I drove it on special occasions and holidays.
But on those days, it was only because:
A)  I knew I wouldn’t be traveling far from home
B)  I knew I wouldn’t to be out for a long time
C)  I knew I would not be leaving the house until late at night
or
D) I knew that no one would see me

I was NOT ashamed of my Rust Bucket – I just really liked driving my Nice car and preferred to keep my Rust Bucket around for emergencies and boring rides.

Every now and then, someone would inquire about buying my Rust Bucket.
But, I didn’t want to sell it.
Sometimes, they would even ask if they could borrow it.
My answer was always: “No!”
My logic was that although I rarely drove my Rust Bucket, there may have come a day when I actually NEEDED it.
So, whenever someone would show a little interest in my Rust Bucket, I would take it out of my Garage and drive it around for a few days.
A few days was just enough to prove to myself {and everyone else} that I still NEEDED my Rust Bucket.

Once, someone came to my Garage and took my Rust Bucket for a joy ride.
They didn’t ask me if they could drive it, they just rummaged around in the drawers of my Garage, found the keys and drove it away for a few days.
The engine was very quiet.
I didn’t even notice that the Rust Bucket had been gone until it was returned.
They parked it back in my Garage seemingly unnoticeable.
Upon return, I noticed that my Rust Bucket had been washed and the oil had been changed.
It didn’t have any scratches on it, but I could tell that it had been driven by someone else.
I didn’t report it stolen.  But, I did get very, very, very  angry once I realized what had happened.

Yep, I had two cars…
And after many years of maintaining those two cars, I realized that it was more of a hassle than it was worth.
Why did I NEED two cars when in actuality I was only driving the NICE car on most days?
I was being Greedy.
And you know what?
I realized that my Greed not only affected me but it affected others as well.

Greed is the inordinate desire to possess wealth, goods, or objects of abstract value with the intention to keep it for one’s self, far beyond the dictates of basic survival and comfort.

It’s my opinion that Greed can be applied to People, Places, or Things.
Thus, I believe that a person can be greedy in a Romantic Relationship or Friendship – an inordinate desire to possess another person and/or their feelings.

Obviously, my Tale of Two Cars is a very broad analogy.
It’s MY assessment of one type of Romantic relationship that I have been involved in over and over again.

There were times when I played the part of the Owner of the two cars and there were times when I played the part of one of those two types of cars.

Occasionally, I have been the Nice car.
But sometimes, I have have been the Rust Bucket.
Either way, whether I played the role of the Owner of the Car or The actual Car – the situation NEVER turned out nice.

Who are you?
How many cars do you own?
Or, better yet, who is holding on to your keys?

When you think about it like this, it doesn’t give you a very good feeling inside, Does it?

If you see yourself as the owner of two cars, then today is the day that you need get rid of one of those cars.
You really don’t need TWO cars.

And, what if you’re the Nice Car or the Rust Bucket?
Go find that greedy owner, reach in his/her pocket, and take back your keys!

You should do it now, while the engine is still hot.

Who is Regina: TheGodmother?

First and Foremost, I am Self Proclaimed as Regina TheGodmother.

I am:
A Hu$tler, A Chauffeur, A Life Coach, A Spiritual Adviser, A Speaker of the Truth, A Girl Scout, A Personal Assistant, An Ordained Minister, A General Busy Body, A Trained Assassin, A Sports Management Consultant, A Marriage and Family Counselor, A Dog Catcher, A Babysitter of Grown Folks, and A Slayer of Evil Monsters.

I am 100% Boss and Everybody’s Best Friend Forever.

All these titles – no matter how silly they sound – have been attached to me at some point in my life or another and have made me the person that I am today.

So, it is with purposeful conviction that I will work to assist you in resolving your day to day issues and give you insight on the world around you.

This is not meant solely to be an Advice Column.  Those who seek advice from me should take just about everything I write with a grain of salt and discern as to whether my response is actually Serious or Tongue-in-Cheek.  Depending on the day, you may read ANYTHING here.

You’ll find that this Blog is more or less the Mad Ramblings of a Woman {me} who at 48 years old found her life spinning in what she felt was the wrong direction.  I was riding a Merry-Go-Round and needed to get off of it.  And much like the line in the old song by John Lennon: “Watching The Wheels” – I just had to let it go!

Now, two years later, I am living the life that I’ve always wanted to live.

I do not profess to know ALL the answers…  And although I’m often sarcastically called a “Know it All”, I do not consider myself to be the “All Knowing Wizard of Oz”.  I can not wave a magic wand and get you back  to Kansas or anywhere else for that matter.

My goal is to allow you the opportunity to view issues from the perspective of an individual {me} who has experienced some of the Best as well as some of the Worst that life has had to offer her in the last 50 years.

Exactly WHO I AM: my Education, my Background, my Marital Status, etc… will become apparent with each Blog that I write.  There is no need for me to go into all of that now.  I am an open book and time will tell you all that you need to know about Me as a person.  I am very honest about Who I am and Where I come from…

For years, people of all backgrounds and age groups have come to  me to ask for my opinion and insight on subjects that affect their lives.

Why do people seek my opinion?

I really don’t know, specifically.

But I will tell you this:

I have experienced a lot in my Lifetime…  And I have repeated this statement to many people:

“I am Regina and I am 50 years old.  I have either Done It, Thought about Doing It, Am Considering Doing it Right Now, Going to do it SOON, or have held someone’s hand while They Did It.  I know a lot of stuff about a lot of stuff.”

And to that end, if I can’t help you sort out what’s going on in your life – Nobody can.

You Can Believe THAT.